Obama's Pirate Dilema: Nuke the Buzzards, Or Apply Wuss Diplomacy?

Satire by John W. Lillpop

President Barack Obama is facing a severe test in the early days of his presidency.

Just as Joe Biden predicted, the president is being tested by Iran, North Korea, and now four renegade pirates from Somalia.

Obama's dilema: Nuke a small group of corrupt pirates holding hostage an American captain, or use diplomacy and talk to send a message of hope and reconciliation to the Jihad terrorists?

Will it be military might or wuss diplomacy, Mr. President?

As a dedicated patriot who wants this president to succeed, in spite of his sorry self, I recommend a "Help Wanted" ad to find a suitable diplomat.

Suggested wording:

"Sophisticated, bilingual, multicultural, world citizen diplomat sought for high level position in the White House.

"Successful applicant will be skilled in groveling, apologizing for American arrogance, and unilateral surrender strategy. Must be sympathetic to the needs and hurts of Islamofascists and be willing to Blame America First, regardless of the actual facts.

"Requires frequent travel and interaction with people coming from diverse religious and cultural backgrounds.

Clean tax history a must; being gay a huge plus! Republicans and conservative Democrats need not apply.

Equal opportunity employer, except for Republicans and conservative Democrats."

President Obama is said to have considered adding the pirate crisis to the work load of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, but would prefer a person of color with an unsullied reputation for truth and integrity and at least a smidgen of common sense.

In addition to submitting an appropriate Help Wanted ad to Obama, I have also reminded him of the considerable experience and skills of Keira Knightley who has starred in "The Pirates of Caribbean" flicks with Johnny Depp.

Her only drawbacks? She is lily white, Christian, and a kick-ass tyrant when it comes to renegade pirates!