Gay, Anxious to Wed, and Stuck in San Francisco? Head to Iowa!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Over the years, tens of thousands of homosexuals have left America's heartland in order to experience the liberating freedom of the wild, wild west, and in particular, California, and even more particularly, the queen's paradise, otherwise known as San Francisco.

In what must be the ultimate irony for those who journeyed west in search of progressive permissiveness and moral-free living, the Supreme Court of Iowa has ruled, unanimously no less, that banning same-sex marriage is unconstitutional!

In Iowa, of all places!

As reported, in part, at Lowellsun.com:

"Gay marriage, seemingly the province of the nation's two coasts, is just weeks away from becoming a reality in the heartland and apparently it will be years before social conservatives have a chance to stop it.

The Iowa Supreme Court on Friday unanimously upheld a lower-court ruling in August 2007 that rejected a state law restricting marriage to a union between a man and woman. The ruling said that the law violates the constitutional rights of equal protection.

Now gays and lesbians may exchange vows as soon as April 24 following the landmark decision.

The county attorney who defended the law said he would not seek a rehearing. The only recourse for opponents appeared to be a constitutional amendment, which couldn't get on the ballot until 2012 at the earliest. "

Which means that, as of April 24, same-sex couples longing to tie the knot will be able to do so legally in Iowa, a luxury not available to gays living in that quagmire of west coast conservatism, San Francisco.

For gays stuck in stodgy old San Francisco, the new slogan of hope will probably be, "Go Midwest, young men!"