Barack Obama's "Come As You Are" Easter Egg Roll

Satire by John W. Lillpop

According to the White House web site, (Reference +) the Easter Egg Roll dates back to 1878 and is an event designed to encourage children and their families to come outdoors and celebrate the start of the spring season.

In recent years, the event has been held on the South Lawn of the White House, usually on the Monday following Easter Sunday.

Previous presidents have used the Egg Roll in a non-partisan way to celebrate the resurrected Christ, and to spread the Gospel (Good News!) concerning the Hope and Change delivered by the only real Messiah to have walked on the planet more than 2,000 years ago.

As one might expect, Barack Obama sees the egg roll as another venue for pushing his socialist agenda while doing some early campaigning for 2012 and, who knows, perhaps some impromptu fund raising as well!

Simply respecting and honoring the Holiest Day in the Christian faith, as is, might be perceived by the wacky left as groveling to right wing extremists.

Therefore, in order to placate the kooky constituency to whom the president is irretrievably beholden, the Obama administration decided to make the occasion "more gay," to turn a phrase.

As reported, in part, at the Independent (Reference ++):

"The White House is allocating tickets for the upcoming Easter Egg Roll to gay and lesbian parents as part of the Obama administration's outreach to diverse communities.

"Families say the gesture shows that the new Democratic administration values them as equal to other families. And for many, being included in the annual tradition — dating to 1878 — renews hope that they will have more support in their quest for equal rights in matters such as marriage and adoption than under the previous administration."

Allocating tickets? Good heavens, now Affirmative Action and set-asides have even spread to the Easter Egg Roll! Where will it all end?

Other details concerning Obama's attempt to turn Easter into a spring version of Halloween include:

* All visitors will be required to wear a lapel pin, stating, "We are NOT a Christian Nation." Pins will be available in Arabic, Spanish, and Ebonics, free of charge. English buttons will be available for a nominal fee.

* Chocolate crosses reading "Praise Be to God", on the vertical and "Allah Is THE ONE!" on the horizontal, will be sold at conveniently located concession stands throughout the lawn area.

* Pre-colored eggs will be sold:

Pink eggs for gay celebrants.

Deficit red eggs for Democrats and RINOs who voted for the economic stimulus farce, and for Native American Indians who can prove their heritage with a properly executed birth certificate.

Bowling ball black eggs for Special Olympics attendees.

Deep blue sea eggs for Somali pirates in attendance.

Taco shaped brown eggs for illegal aliens lucky enough to have the day off.

Automobile-shaped green eggs for GM, Ford, and Chrysler employees.

Rocket shaped yellow eggs for Kim Yong Il and any other North Korean luminaries.

Any surviving white eggs will be considered racist and will be destroyed immediately by the Secret Service.

* Barney Frank (D-CT) will close the day with a Key Note address titled, "He Is Risen! What the Resurrection of Jesus Christ Means to the Gay Community!"

According to White House officials, depending on the success of the Diversity and Perversion Egg Roll, the president may roll out less subtle CHANGE ideas for Christmas, Independence Day, and similar days that unfairly exclude people who, through no fault of their own, are weird and offensive.