Satire by John W. Lillpop
All things considered, President Obama probably should have called in sick Monday morning.
His call off would have been accepted without question by the American people, given the dreadful swine flu crisis and Obama's recent trip to Mexico, including shaking the hand of a Mexican host who died hours later. Clearly, this president had a valid need for a little down time.
Nonetheless, Obama showed up at the Oval Office, gung ho to bring more CHANGE to a nation slowly awakening to the fact that Obama-sponsored change does not necessarily mean for the better.
Ever the work alcoholic optimist, Obama realized that there were scads of apologies to be issued for America's boorish behavior from noon, January 20, 2001 to noon, January 20, 2009.
There were Latin American dictators to appease, Islamofascists and a North Korean mad man whom needed a stern talking to, and more ultra-sensitive CIA memos to be released in order to justify the arrest and prosecution of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney and their cronies for mistreating the mastermind behind 9/11.
Domestically, there were overlooked remnants of American wealth to find and waste on goofy liberal projects, banks, insurance, and auto companies to seize, and mega-trillion dollar annual deficits to create in the "out" years.
Then there was all the hype about the Mexican swine flu crisis, which, if conditions continued to deteriorate, would require Team Obama to take time from their busy schedules to deflect responsibility from Obama with an appropriate press release along the lines of the following:
"The Mexican swine flu is yet another "inherited" crisis from former President George W. Bush. Thank goodness, America has voted for change from the failed policies of Bush and his administration of right-wing extremists!
When you think about it, W's continued good health, and availability as Obama's "go to" guy when a mea culpa is called for, may be more important to Obama than it is to W. himself.
But back to Obama's bad hair day.
To begin his day, Obama delighted a group of scientists by showing his leadership skills in a one-on-one struggle with his edgy teleprompter. In the end, the president prevailed over his inanimate aide-to-camp, although his message got lost in the mirth and merriment generated by the impromptu presidential comedy.
Next, Obama received word that Air Force One had delighted the City of New York by buzzing Lower Manhattan.
Started New York residents, including the city's uninformed Mayor Michael Bloomberg, ran about in a panic, fearful that the terrorist attacks of 9/11 were being repeated.
Da Mayor and the unwashed millions of NYC were not the least bit amused when told that the buzzing was nothing more than a photo op carried out to update the Air Force One photo library.
Scratch another ten million or so dunderheads from among those dedicated to Obamamania!
In the midst of all those fumbles, Obama's day was not without its bright moments. For example, a new poll shows that 75 percent of Americans do not fault the president for not picking a Surgeon General nearly 100 days after his deification on January 20.
Which makes perfect sense given Obama's wonky record when it comes to cabinet appointments!