Satire by John W. Lillpop
America's Apologist-in-Chief must be in an acute state of anxiety over tennis star Serena Williams' behavior at the U.S. Tennis Open at Flushing Meadows, New York last week end.
Because of the impolite rant by the Angry Black Female, American prestige and honor have been harmed, perhaps irreparably, all across the globe.
People in Europe, the UK, Asia, Africa and elsewhere must be wondering: What is happening to the once genteel sport of tennis? From where does the vulgar language and uncouth behavior come, especially in a woman?
This situation clearly demands urgent action from President Barack Obama. Perhaps a prime time address to the world, including to class rooms everywhere, would help soothe jangled nerves and restore confidence in American morality and sportsmanship.
The presidential message could be as short and sweet as this:
You people need to wash your hands AND, if you talk like Serena Williams, your mouths as well!
After which the president should appoint Jimmy Carter as his "Vulgar Language on Tennis Courts" czar.
Go Jimmy! Finally, a position you can fulfill.
