Satire by John W. Lillpop
Why is the news so dreary and mournful these days? Pray, dear Lord, deliver unto us headlines like the following:
Obama Admits Birther Ineligibility; Resigns Effective Immediately
20 Million Illegal Aliens Voluntarily Head Back to Mexico Due to Guilt Over Displacing American Workers
100 Top Wall Street Bankers Arrested for "Bail Out" Scam; Funds, Plus Interest, Returned to U.S. Treasury
Kenya Denies Asylum to Deposed President Obama
Vaccine for Curing Gayness Announced: Barney Frank Accepts Jesus, Switches Party Affiliation to GOP
Income Tax, Abortion, and Affirmative Action Ruled Unconstitutional
Nancy Pelosi's Head x-rayed: Nothing Found!
Democratic Congress Rejects Health Care Reform: Too Costly and Intrusive Expansion of Government
Government of Mexico Rejects Latest Foreign Aid from U.S., Will No Longer Accept Hand Outs
Supreme Court Rules That Labor Unions Violate Anti-trust Laws, Must Be Dismantled
Chevron, BP, and Shell Admit "Huge Glut" of Oil Reserves; Slash Gasoline Prices to $1.00 a Gallon
English as Official Language Passes Both Chambers of Congress: All Hispanic Members Vote Nada
450 Death Row Inmates in California Prisons Executed Simultaneously to Ease Budget Crunch
Report: Spinach Can Cause Brain Cancer. Cure Possible By Eating Huge Number of Snickers Bars
United Nations Praises Israel for Acting Responsibly By Defending Itself
Matt Drudge Buys CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, and NBC: Appoints Sarah Palin Director of Human Resources
Box Office Failure of anti-capitalism Movie Drives Michael Moore into Bankruptcy
Roman Polanski Pardoned by Obama: Urged to Run for Governor of New York
Keith Olbermann Arrested For Impersonating Journalist
And that is the way it should be, ladies and gentlemen!
