Obama Blames W. for Eyjafjallajokull: Urges Congress to “Get Off Your Ash for America!”

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Joined by Al Gore, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and the White House weather czar in the Rose Garden on Sunday, President Obama denounced the eruptions of the Eyjafjallajokull volcano in the strongest possible language:

“Once again, the Earth and its six billion inhabitants are paying an enormous price for eight years of environmental, economic, and political neglect and abuse at the hands of George W. Bush and his Republican co-conspirators in Congress.

“As any credible scientist seeking the truth will readily admit, the devastation of Europe by Eyjafjallajokull is directly linked to the reckless, pro-business, anti-people policies of the last Republican administration.

“When the scientific facts are reviewed objectively, there can be no disputing that the mega tons of ash now polluting the skies over Europe were ‘inherited’ from the Bush administration.

“Therefore, it falls to my administration to clean up another inherited mess which, if left unattended, could wipe out all of the progress that we have made over the past 14 months.

“Accordingly, I am issuing a clarion call to members of the Senate and House to join me in combating violent volcanic eruptions caused by Republican environmental malfeasance.

“On Monday, we will formally announce details of the “Volcanic and Financial Institutions Reform Act of 2010,” which will combine the so-called Cap and Trade and Wall Street reform bills into one voter-friendly, understandable bill that will save the world and main street from further carnage at the hands of conservatives.

“In formulating this aggressive, pro-active approach to solving America’s thorny problems, my administration has consulted with renowned scientists like Al Gore, Katie Couric, Keith Olbermann, Prince Charles, Bono, and others of equal status.

“Without exception, all agree that the “Volcanic and Financial Institutions Reform Act of 2010,” is urgently needed and must be enacted before the start of summer. That gives us about six weeks to act.

“Skeptics—mostly greedy Republicans—will immediately attack the four trillion price tag as too expensive.

To which we must answer, ‘There is no price too high to pay for the health and prosperity of our citizens and illegal aliens. This we can, and must, do.’

"Our rallying cry will be, ‘Get off Your Ash for America!’


Thus, another 4 trillion dollars of wealth will be stolen from future generations of Americans to fund the Marxist fantasies of a very confused community organizer from Kenya!