Are you Mindless Enough to Be a Liberal?

By John W. Lillpop

With control of the U.S. government now in the hands of the enemy,
distraught conservatives are anxiously searching for answers.

What are the options? One can either move to Australia or
commit suicide. Some really desperate folks are even thinking
of becoming liberals!

To those undecided between suicide and becoming a liberal,
please consider the inconsistency and irrational thinking needed
to embrace the liberal agenda:

* Execution of a convicted killer is cruel, unusual & barbaric;
whereas a woman’s right to abort the life of an innocent child
is inalienable.

* Starving an innocent victim like Terri Schaivo to death is
acceptable; using lethal injection to end the life of a brutal killer is

* Burning Old Glory is acceptable free speech, whereas
conservatives like Rush Limbaugh routinely engage in
unacceptable “hate speech.”

* Skyrocketing gasoline prices devastate working American
families,but protecting wild animals and obscure organisms is a greater

* Large profits are obscenely un-American, except when enjoyed
by Barack Obama, George Soros, Oprah Winfrey, the Clintons,and other

* Conservatives working to preserve American culture are bigoted
hate mongers, but the "cultural heritage" of new immigrants must
be protected and celebrated at all costs.

* Discrimination based on race or gender is wrong. Except when
it is waged against Caucasian men, in which case it is mandated
by law & called Affirmative Action.

* Invading a foreign nation is wrong, except when illegal aliens
from Mexico invade America.

* Those who believe English should be the official American
language are "racist," whereas Hispanics who prefer Spanish to
English are perfectly justified because "diversity is our
greatest strength."

* The earning power of American citizens is in sharp decline;
still, the U.S. should grant amnesty to millions of illegal
aliens who will work for lower wages and without benefits.

* Blocking the sale of port security to UAE was necessary to
protect homeland security, but securing the border with Mexico
would “scapegoat” Hispanics.

* Illegal aliens should be licensed to drive-- to avoid breaking
the law by driving illegally.

* Freedom of speech must never be repressed, except when
“hurtful” to any constituency of the Democrat party, in which
case it becomes hate speech.

* Tax cuts are wrong when money is returned to people
who actually paid taxes, but perfectly fine when sent to those
who paid none.

* All symbols of Christianity must be quashed so as to offend no
one, whereas all things Islamic must be heavily promoted in the
name of religious awareness, diversity, & tolerance.

* Businesses are oppressive, fascist institutions and must not
be allowed to become too large. On the other hand government,
when run by Democrats, creates wealth & happiness and should be
expanded as much as possible.

* Military force must never be used, except when needed to
advance interests not vital to the United States, or to obscure
a Democrat president’s sexual misconduct in the Oval Office.

Think about it-- Are you mindless enough to be a liberal?

Or do you wish to borrow my handgun?