Satire by John W. Lillpop
Somebody famous once said: "Laughter is the best medicine."
That being the case, Dr. Lillpop offers the following prescription to those suffering hot flashes and Latino rage in response to Arizona's tough new common-sense immigration law, fondly known as SB 1070.
This medicine is to be taken with potable water(clean and American) by Latinos who are good hearted and hard working, but nonetheless IWB (Invading while Brown).
The good Dr. Lillpop's prescription:
1. Do not join marches where the Mexican flag is the only flag allowed and where angry Latinos carry banners, written in profanity-laced Spanish, to “demand” equal rights for illegal aliens;
2. Remember: Cinco de Mayo is a Mexican holiday, which can be celebrated freely and openly---in Mexico, if you must.
3. Avoid emergency rooms, except in rare instances of actual life and death emergencies, and then only if no other options are available;
4. Refuse any and all offers of employment in fast food restaurants, car washes, farms where fruits and vegetables are picked, any position that requires the use of an obtrusive leaf blower, and housekeeping;
5. Do not demand that your Miranda rights be read to you in Spanish;
6. Under no circumstance should more than one identity be used when applying for any form of public assistance intended solely for citizens;
7. Learn to enjoy (or pretend to enjoy) hot dogs, apple pie, and baseball over tacos, refried beans, and gambling on dog fights;
8. Do not request Spanish-language absentee ballots until you have been paid in advance for doing so by a local branch of the DNC;
9. Avoid identifying yourself with un-American- sounding long names like Juan Pedro Luis Sanchez Gonzales Garcia Ramirez Rodriquez Chavez Reyes, even if each name is registered as a different voter with the Democrat party.
Above all else, hold you head high and remember this important fact: Not all Hispanics in America are here illegally; it just seems that way to grouchy, old white geezers!