Where the Bloody Hell Is Diego Fernandez de Cevallos?

Satire by John W. Lillpop

No, Diego Fernandez de Cevallos is NOT an illegal alien squatting in California. He has NOT failed to cash his last two welfare checks, which would send the entire state DNC into a panic what with the June 8 primary election just around the corner.

Illegal aliens, you see, are worth their weight in food stamps to California Democrats, especially on Election Day.

This is so because most citizens capable of sustained breathing no longer vote for Democrats, which leaves the ugly task of electing Marxists to the brain dead, the physically dead, convicted felons, and non-English speaking illegal aliens who ALWAYS vote Democratic!

However, the case of Diego Fernandez de Cevallos is quite different because, and get this, the aforementioned is a former presidential candidate in the failed state of Mexico!

As reported at Yahoo.news, in part, at (1), Mexican authorities suspect kidnapping:

“MEXICO CITY – A former Mexican presidential candidate who has remained a power broker in the ruling party was missing amid signs of violence, the federal Attorney General's Office said Saturday.

“Prosecutors said that the car of Diego Fernandez de Cevallos was found near his ranch in the central state of Queretaro. It said some of his belongings were found inside the car as well as unspecified "signs of violence."

“The Mexican newspaper El Universal reported that federal sources said Fernandez de Cevallos had been kidnapped, but a federal prosecutor's spokeswoman said she could not confirm that."

A former presidential candidate kidnapped?

Imagine what would happen in America if Al Gore had been kidnapped? Or what if bandits had physically “Swift Boated” John Kerry after the 2004 election?

Yes, yes, of course the global warming farce would have never gotten this far and the U.S. Senate would be a nobler institution.

Other than the positive benefits that would accrue to our economy, culture, and Democracy with Gore and Kerry in the clutches of wild-eyed renegades not directly associated with the DNC, just who would give a damn if these two over-the-hill Marxists were sequestered in a cave somewhere in Pakistan in the same neighborhood as Osama bin Laden?


But back to the times and travails of Fernandez de Cevallos. Is it not peculiar that his disappearance comes at the same time that Mexican President Calderon is scheduled to visit the White House for a state dinner?

Is there a connection? Perhaps there is a grand conspiracy to rip off America even more, with President Obama acting as a mole on behalf of Mexico?

Whatever; here is a common-sense solution that Obama should seriously consider:

Tell President Calderon that Fernandez de Cevallos is being held prisoner by a terrorist group in Arizona, said group commonly known as the state police, pending verification of his papers, in accordance with the provisions of SB 1070.

Further inform President Calderon that Fernandez de Cevallos will be released upon posting of a trillion-dollar bail (American money only), or for the munificent sum of $1.00 provided that the Mexican government provides one-way tickets back to Mexico for 12-26 million illegal aliens!

Like my theology professor once said, “You can negotiate anything!”