Satire by John W. Lillpop
May 19, 2010
Dear President Calderon:
In my haste to bring you the great news about the millions of undocumented boomers that will soon bless Mexico, I neglected to wish you and your good lady a pleasant and fulfilling visit to the United States.
To begin with, please accept the sincere apologies of the American people in advance for the likely rudeness with which you will be greeted by President Obama and Michelle.
Both are well meaning, I suppose; however, both attended a finishing school in Chicago that was burned down by anarchists before the two were properly trained in elitist protocol and manners when it comes to entertaining allies.
Consequently, we recommend that you limit your visit to attending the state dinner planned in your honor and to the obligatory shake-down of the U.S. Treasury, which will be coordinated by Tim Geithner, our tax-evading Treasury Secretary.
Limiting your time in this fashion will obviously leave you and Mrs. Calderon with a good deal of time to fill before you return to Mexico.
Fret not, Mr. President!
May is an enchanting time of the year in America, particularly in the South West,and most especially in the great state of Arizona!
May we suggest that you and your lady plan to spend at least two full days in Arizona?
Arizona will feel just like home, Mr. President, because the basketball team there is called 'Los Suns', which is a tribute to Spanish-speaking dudes with papers!
Moreover, because of your status as a world leader, Mr. President, Arizona recently passed a law that authorizes law enforcement to query certain individuals that appear as though they might be in America illegally, a situation that obviously could never apply to you and Mrs. Calderon.
Thus, we advise you to leave your “papers” with Barack who actually needs authorizing papers himself.
Good luck and Ole~, President Calderon!
John Lillpop
San Hose, California
