Why Not Cash for Analog Televisions?

By John W. Lillpop

While the Trifecta of Incompetence, AKA, Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid, work overtime to throw away additional billions of taxpayer money in order to revive their ill-conceived Clunkers program, millions of innocent Americans suffer in silent abuse at the hands of this Marxist regime.

I refer to the government-mandated program that made analog televisions obsolete and nearly as worthless as Obama's campaign promise to raise taxes on the rich, but not the middle class.

Ironically, tens of millions of Americans whom have been shut out of productive lifestyles as a result of Obamanomics, have turned to analog televisions for solace, comfort, and entertainment.

Many have no family and find friends difficult to locate while unemployed and down on one's luck.

Using analog television as an emotional crutch to get through Obamanomics is no longer an option because the government, as ordered by the Trifecta of Incompetence, decided that everyone should have digital television.

Thus, on June 12, 2009, with but scant advance warning, and no Town Hall Meetings that were broadcast on CNN, the Trifecta of Incompetence threw a switch in the basement of the White House that caused all analog televisions in America to show only snow flurries.

No Oprah, no Jeopardy, no American Idol. Nothing but that damn snow!

This outrageous disregard for the little guy must not stand.

In order to make restitution, the Trifecta of Incompetence must call both chambers of Congress back into session in order to pass emergency legislation.

Cash for analog televisions must provide at least one trillion dollars to allow all of those trapped in the snowy hell of analog television to escape with dignity. Free anti-depressants should be included for the elderly and all children under 18.

After all, this IS America!