Satire by John W. Lillpop
Perhaps President Barack Obama really is a genius, a gifted member of the intellectually elite. A Mensa man if ever there were one.
If so, one wonders how it is that the simplest of arithmetic befuddles this gifted man? How can a man with an IQ higher than his body weight be so utterly lost when it comes to figuring out how much of my money he intends to waste?
I refer to the beached whale of liberal excess, otherwise known as health care reform. Or Obamacare to be rude, but honest.
The Obama health care reform that will in and of itself:
* Save the American economy;
* Lower the average age of the US population by "saluting and booting" anyone over 60;
* Make it a felony to be obese;
* Deny health care coverage to anyone ridiculous enough to smoke cigarettes, excepting only a Messiah- like figure who can CHANGE the world but cannot change his addiction to nicotine;
* Tax the fat into skinniness, and
* Help put another American man, woman, or undecided on the moon before the end of Obama's second term in office.
THAT plan!
The most amazing thing about Obamacare is how the president justifies the communistization (new word added to cover Obama CHANGE) of health care by proposing to cover 46 million people currently uninsured, including illegal aliens, which, according to Obama's wonky math will actually reduce medical costs!
With all due respect to the president, that sort of nonsensical thinking has landed America in the awful mess we are currently in.
Perhaps the president thinks that We the People will act "stupidly" by buying into his bait and switch mumbo jumbo, hook, line, and sinker?
Many will, of course, mostly Democrats who voted for this unqualified community organizer to begin with, and others who want Uncle Sam to be responsible for handling their medical bills, individual mortgage and car payments, vacation mad money, high -speed Internet connectivity, blah, blah, blah.
On the other hand, perhaps we conservatives have yet to discover the miracles of "New Math," another abomination of an educational system damn near ruined by liberal infestation.
Maybe it is possible to feed the multitudes with but five fish and one loaf of bread. Or convert water to wine for an important wedding?
Actually, those miracles are plausible because they are attributed to Jesus Christ, the only true Messiah to have walked on earth, in the Holy Bible.
Of course, America is no longer a Christian nation so we can ignore the Holy Bible, Jesus, God and everything that Christianity represents, right?
Back to Obama-Math.
If the president is correct about being able to reduce medical costs by covering 46 million uninsured, why stop at our borders, Mr. President?
Why not cover all of Mexico? That would be another 40 million or so who have not yet invaded America.
Cover all of Mexico's citizens and watch those medical costs drop like a rock!
If the economy fails to respond to that bold move, you could always add Honduras, Guatemela, and El Salvador to the list of "insured" nations, and then sit back and just wait for trillions and trillions of savings to flow in, which can then be used to pay for your hideous stimulus mistake and Al Gore's bloated climate change rip off.
Just a word of caution, though, Mr. President: Keep it up and soon the US Treasury will be required to add "Made In China" to the American dollar!
Oh, and it may be necessary for you to eliminate the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) in order to maintain the "Audacity of Hope," sir.
