Right-wing Extremist Offers Apology for Slavery

By John W. Lillpop

Inspired by the terrific example set by members of the US House and Senate last week, I am ready to add my voice to those honorable politicians who publicly apologized for slavery.

However, rather than apologizing for the Caucasian race in general for sins going back 400 years, my preference is to take responsibility for my specific fair share of the carnage.

It's called "taking personal responsibility" and is all the rage on Facebook, Twitter, and other digital age venues.

Therefore, this apology:

"To people of all races, nationalities, ethnic origins, genders, sexual orientations, political affiliations, and moral values who were forced into servitude, at anytime, by John W. Lillpop of San Jose, California, and whom are still alive:

"My deepest, heart felt apologies and prayer for forgiveness.

"I ought not to have done it.

"Although I will be damned if I can recall ever specifically enslaving, or even abusing, anyone over the past 400 years, I must be guilty.

"After all, I am a Caucasian Christian male and member of the NRA who believes in secure borders, the rule of law, and a strong national defense."

"Please understand that I am not entirely at fault.

"I was raised by a stay at home mom and a father who served in the US Navy and then worked very hard to feed and house us.

"Our family went to church on most Sundays, paid our bills and taxes on time, and respected all people.

"Except for that mysterious period when we strayed and dabbled in slavery. Perhaps it is best to have no recollection whatsoever of those awful times?"

"In closing, we should all take a moment to thank God for those brave Americans who had the courage to force an end to slavery.

By the way, do remember, they were white Republicans!

In full and deep sorrow,

John W. Lillpop
San Jose Ca"