Satire by John W. Lillpop
Armed with a rebooted list of US wrongs to apologize for and accompanied by an anti-American media and his every present teleprompter, America's 44th president is off to Egypt.
In addition to telling anyone that will listen how sorry he is that George W. Bush was ever born, Barack Obama hopes to curry favor with the Muslim world by working with Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to reverse the Exodus of enslaved Jews to Israel so many centuries ago.
This will free the occupied land known as Israel for Palestinians and other peoples obsessed with suicide bombing as a recreational outlet.
Obama's strategery is to part the Red Sea with his Messianic powers, use his charisma to lure beleaguered Jews into the land vacated by the water, and then team up with Ahmadinejad to drown all greedy Jews whom have wandered into the area in order to build new settlements.
Its not exactly what Ahmadinejad had in mind, but informed sources tell this reporter that it is close enough to meet Obama's agenda.
When you think about it, this president has sufficient and good cause to issue a number of presidential apologies.
Indeed, Obama should apologize for:
* An American electorate so foolish as to elect an inexperienced, anti-American socialist to the U.S. presidency
* That same electorate for installing Democrat socialist majorities in both chambers of the U.S. House
* Changes that make America more vulnerable to terrorist attack
* Wasting trillions of dollars of taxpayer money on programs that stimulate "Ear marks frenzy," but nothing else.
* Nominating an avowed racist to the U.S. Supreme Court
Make those apologies Mr. President and you will have indeed told the truth and unleashed a round of unprecedented transparency!