Osama bin Laden: Fearless Warrior or Muslim Wuss?

Satire By John W. Lillpop

By sheer coincidence, We the People heard from two rigidly anti- American extremists on the same day. Both men are radicals, seemingly engaged in a bitter race to see whom can destroy America first.

We are talking about Osama bin Laden, CEO of Islamofascism, Inc. and Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States.

Early in the morning, bin Laden came out with his latest tape in which he reminded the world that Islam is hardly a Religion of Peace and is anything but tolerant, despite the pro-Jihad blathering of Obama.

As reported at Reuters.com, in part:


"Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden told Muslims to prepare for a long war against "infidels and their agents."

"We either live under the light of Islam or we die with dignity ... brace yourselves for a long war against the world's infidels and their agents," the militant leader said in an audio tape was posted on an Islamist website on Thursday.

"Parts of the tape were aired on Wednesday in which he accused U.S. President Barack Obama of planting the seeds of hatred towards the United States among Muslims."

Astounding, is it not, that bin Laden and other Muslim scalawags are able to convince supposedly intelligent and educated young followers to "die with dignity," while the 6'11" weasel hides in an air conditioned cave with a 72 inch plasma television, a staff of obedient slaves, and thirteen currently non-pregnant wives?

Of course, the promised reward of 72 virgins for being a Muslim martyr is quite tempting to young men.

Which begs the question: If it is true that, upon death, martyred Muslim men have immediate access to 72 voluptuous virgins, why in the hell is Osama still scrambling around with a dialysis machine strapped to his skinny butt just to avoid death?

Would it not make better sense for bin Laden to disconnect the dialysis toy and do something really crazy to get himself shot and sent away on the Virgin Express?

Something really bizarre, like going to America and protesting taxes, abortion, illegal aliens, and gun laws in front of Janet Napolitano Washington, D.C. home.

Osama can clinch his appointment with death by donning a T shirt saying, " I am a Proud Returning American Vet."

That will surely get him shot to smithereens by Napolitano's Gestapo squad.

Its called leading by example, Osama. Give it a try and brace yourself for one fantastic party in Islam heaven!