Satire by John W. Lillpop
After being ridiculed for gifting UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown with a set of CDs titled, "Wimps Wearing Wigs" which documents the huge success of the American Revolution in sending the British back to their wretched little island in 1776, President Obama decided it was time to reboot America's image with our most loyal allies.
Indeed, after bowing to and "consulting" with the King of Saudi Arabia, birthplace of Osama bin Laden, after cavorting with Spanish-speaking communist dictators in order to pacify Hispanic voters, and after his Cairo speech in which he promised to CHANGE the current American holiday devoted to the mythical birth of a baby Jew more than 2,000 years ago (AKA, Christmas) into "National Quaran Appreciation Day," President Obama decided to start by making peace with the French.
He did so by handing French President Sarkozy a fully executed "Quit Claim Deed" to the State of Louisiana, which means that the great state has been returned to the French just in time for the 2009 hurricane season, forecast to torment New Orleans and the rest of the state with a half dozen or so Category Five storms.
Administration sources deny that president was "off loading" American problems onto the backs of the French by pointing out that Obama gave Sarkozy the private cell phone numbers of former FEMA official Michael Brown (Brownie) and New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin, just in case of an emergency.
In presenting the French president with this most magnanimous gift, Obama said, "We return the state of Louisiana to the nation of France accompanied by a sincere apology for the shoddy manner in which corrupt white Christian Republican southerners treated Napoleon Bonaparte during the Louisiana Purchase of 1803. We were wrong to mislead the general as to the value of those 828,000 square miles.
"American greed and arrogance, still manifest on Wall Street even now, led to the out and out thievery of the great state of Louisiana for a mere $15 million dollars.
"Again, we are sorry for this grave injustice, and even more sorry for the fact that this travesty was not recognized and made right over the past eight years."
Wow. How to top that?
A wild guess: Sometime in mid-September, when all of New Orleans has been moved by a Category Five hurricane to Lincoln, Nebraska, Obama will hold a joint press conference with Al Gore to apologize for the global warming crisis left behind by that white Christian Republican dyslexic from Texas!
jwl
6/6
