Scoring the Obama -Ahmadinejad Debate

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Just who in the hell is that goofy tinhorn dictator with the big mouth and forked tongue whom is creating chaos with his radical and revolutionary agenda for change?

No, fellow conservatives, I am not referring to Barack Obama although he certainly matches most of the characteristics.

In fact, I am referring to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad who rocked the world with his proposal to debate president Obama, face to face, at the UN.

As reported at bloomberg.com, in part:


"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who faces re-election next month, said he considers the dispute over his country’s nuclear program “over.”

"Ahmadinejad, at the press conference, also offered to debate U.S. President Barack Obama at the UN on “world problems and collective cooperation.”

As of this hour, no official word concerning rejection or acceptance of Ahmadinejad's challenge has been forthcoming from the White House.

However, an unidentified source, speaking on condition of anonymity, opined that Obama would be likely to accept the challenge in order advance the "opportunity for meaningful and mutually beneficial discussions between the two leaders."

According to the same sleazy source, the sole pre-conditions from Obama would be that accommodations be made for his teleprompter and that all discussions, including follow up questions from the media, be conducted in Arabic only.

Naturally, interest in the Obama-Ahmadinejad debate would be massive, with perhaps as many as two billion people tuning in to watch the action on television.

There would also be plenty of sidebar arguments as to who actually won the debate.

To assure uniformity and fairness, the Democratic National Committee in collaboration with FAIR and other objective Muslim organizations have released a guide for scoring the debate.

The guide consists of the following evaluations of the two individuals and their debate performance:

( )The extent to which the debater was able to build support for the premise that George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, George Tenet, Donald Rumsfeld, and others in the Bush administration were guilty of war crimes for their participation in the illegal invasion and occupation of the sovereign nation of Iraq.

( )The quality of arguments made to convince the world that the Jewish bankers behind the current economic meltdown and depression in the U.S. were the same Jews who conspired to attack the World Trade Center and Pentagon on September 11.

( )The extent to which the debater was able to convince the world that water boarding and other EITs used by the CIA, with the approval of Nancy Pelosi, against helpless Jihadists at GITMO were more heinous and a greater violation of basic human rights than the videotaped beheading of lying Jews like reporter Daniel Pearl, and

( )The ability of the debater to make the case that the nation of Israel and all her citizens should be transferred to Guantanamo Bay as soon as the innocent detainees currently held captive on the island can be moved to San Francisco, Chicago, New York City, Los Angeles, and other American cities known for compassion and diversity.

As of now, professional gamblers in Las Vegas and other major betting venues see the debate as close to even money, with a slight edge going to Obama if former President Dick Cheney continues to speak out on national television.