23.5.09

Barack Obama's non-stop Mea Culpa--For W. Bush!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

During his two-term presidency, George W. Bush was often faulted for not owning up to his mistakes and admitting his failings.

If Democrats had had their way, W. would have spent his entire eight years in office doing nothing but apologizing, rather than wandering out of the Oval Office now and again to muck up the planet even further.

Whereas W. was disinclined to admit his mistakes, President Obama is more than willing to apologize, and apologize again, and apologize again, to anyone who will listen.

Indeed, Obama has become quite skilled at apologizing-- for W.'s mistakes!

Were one to take Obama seriously (not likely for anyone with a memory going back at least 30 days), W. is personally to blame for global warming, all category 5 hurricanes to ever haunt the world, the economic meltdown, the housing crisis, the imminent collapse of Social Security and Medicare, all budget deficits to date as well as all forecast through the year 2050, the Mexican swine flu, the decline and fall of the domestic auto industry, lack of cures for AIDS and breast cancer, California's descent into a third-world cesspool, greed and sloth on Wall Street, kids who cannot read their high school diplomas, the SUV craze, excessive bovine flatulence, Al Gore's depression and 57" waist, Bill Clinton's wonky heart, the Enron scandal, the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT), Lance Armstrong's trouble with drugs in France, Barney Frank's inability to find a nice young Jewish boy to marry and settle down with in south Texas, rampant obesity, Ted Kennedy's brain cancer, overly smoky BBQ grills, all of those awful lies told to Nancy Pelosi by the CIA, strained U.S. relations with Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and, now, that awful mess at Guantanamo Bay which Obama proposes to fix by moving 248 of the most notorious murderers in the world to America's bedroom communities.

The bottom line question: When will Barack Obama grow up and assume his rightful responsibility as U.S. President?

And if, perish the thought, something untoward should afflict W., whom would Obama blame for his own mediocrity, incompetence, and arrogance?