Satire by John W. Lillpop
Let's face it, Obamarades, this Obama-Biden thang just ain't working.
In much the same manner as being "clean and articulate" is not even close to being good enough for a president, being a "Balding Court Jester" falls tragically short of America's lofty expectations for vice president.
What, then, is to happen to our blessed nation in these perilous times?
To whom can we turn for leadership when our highest elected officials are more concerned with "terrorist rights" and allowing openly gay men and women in the military than in protecting 300 million American citizens?
What to do?
There is a solution!
Think back to January 19, 2009, when at least some of our leaders still had the cajoles and guts to stand up for America.
Back then, pundits and liberal detractors alleged that George W. Bush was not in charge of anything except working with Ted Kennedy on amnesty for millions of invading criminals from Mexico.
Conspiracy freaks held that W. was merely the "front man" for the brilliant, but nefarious, Dick Cheney who posed as VP but who was actually in charge of all of those dastardly deeds that were beyond W.'s intellectual capabilities and pay grade.
Richard Bruce Cheney, shortened to "Dick" for brevity and for reasons that cannot be explained in a family publication.
Does America still need Dick Cheney in order to survive?
After all, since Cheney left the White House on that gloomy afternoon in January, the Obama Demolition Team has done damn near everything possible to surrender to Islamofascism.
From closing Guantanamo Bay, to banning interrogation techniques that actually saved American lives, to releasing ultra-sensitive CIA memos, Barack Hussein Obama has been an unmitigated disaster as U.S. Commander-in-chief.
Obama's foolhardy policies seemed unstoppable until last Sunday, when Dick Cheney appeared on national television and warned that, under Obama, America was becoming less and less safe.
Those words from Cheney seemed to work wonders as President Obama soon announced that photos allegedly showing terrorists being abused at the hands of the U.S. military would NOT be released after all.
Score one for Dick Cheney!
Later in the week, President Obama continued to slither toward common sense by announcing that military tribunals do have a place at GITMO, after all!
Score another one for Dick Cheney!
With these victories to his credit, it is now clear that Dick Cheney has reassumed his position as shadow president of these great United States.
By the grace of God, Obamamania seems to be falling to the laser sword of Darth Vader himself.
All of which is good and wonderful, but a bit tedious in terms of logistics.
To give Cheney the power and authority he really needs to contain Obama and save America, Cheney deserves to be moved back into the VP suite of the White House, as soon as possible.
What about Joe Biden and his staff, you ask?
This reporter has it on good authority that there is a bunker-like room at the Naval Observatory in Washington, which, until Biden's latest faux pas, was the VP's secret hideaway in case of another terrorist attack.
Now that Biden has made the "secret" hideaway common public knowledge throughout the universe and beyond, let's tuck his sorry self in that room for the next four years, or until his untimely demise at the hands of terrorists, whichever comes first!
