Satire by John W. Lillpop
Sonia Sotomayor may have a brilliant intellect and a fair to meddling understanding of the law. But, is that enough?
Pressing questions about her personal life are starting to surface and must be answered before this circus moves on to the next freak.
She must respond to these pertinent questions:
Why did she divorce and not remarry?
Did she have children out of wedlock? How many and where are they now?
Is she a lesbian or bisexual?
Is she a registered Democrat? Did she vote for Barack Obama?
Can she produce a valid birth certificate? In English?
How much insulin does she inject every day? Is her judgment impaired during diabetic seizures?
Has she ever been to a beauty parlor as a patron? How many years ago? Why did she stop going?
Is she adamantly opposed to lipstick and makeup because of religious convictions or because of feminist belligerence?
Has she ever considered a career in door-to-door sales for brillo scrub pads? She has the head for it!
Other than the Race card, what card games does she enjoy playing?
Why has she no grandchildren?
Oscar Collazo was a Puerto Rican nationalist who attempted to assassinate President Harry S. Truman. What connection if any does Sotomayor have to the murderer from Puerto Rico? Can she prove that?
Has she always paid all her taxes?
Other than family and friends, has the nominee ever employed illegal aliens?
Can she provide transcripts for all formal confessions she has given to a Catholic Father over the past 10 years?
Inquiring minds demand to know: Just whole in the holy hell is Sonia Sotomayor?
