Brit Speaker Resigns: Hint, Hint, Nancy Pelosi!

Satire By John W. Lillpop

Although Nancy Pelosi probably does not give a tinker's damn about political protocol in jolly old England, she could do well to mimic recent developments on that wretched island.

As reported at Yahoo News, the powerful speaker of the British House of Commons resigned his post for an offense far less serious than being an "accomplice to torture" and a liar to boot, charges currently hovering around the vacated head of America's Speaker Pelosi.

The story, in part:


"LONDON – The powerful speaker of the British House of Commons resigned Tuesday because of a backlash over excessive expense claims by lawmakers, marking the first time in three centuries a speaker has been forced out.

"Though Michael Martin has not been caught up in recent revelations about lawmakers expenses — reimbursements for chandeliers, moat cleaning and mortgage payments have outraged taxpayers — he was blamed for creating a climate in which such excesses were allowed.

"In an extremely short statement to the House of Commons, Martin said he would leave the post June 21 to maintain "unity" in Parliament's lower chamber.

"This will allow the house to proceed to elect a new speaker," Martin said. "This is all I have to say on this matter."

Of course, Pelosi's farewell will need revision in order to suit the bloody mess she has fostered here in the states. To help expedite Pelosi's departure, I have faxed the following draft for her review:

"Thanks to the likes of Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, and George W. Bush, the US House can no longer be cleaned by a woman, even a dedicated, courageous, and honest one.

"Accordingly, I will resign as Speaker of the House at the end of Barack Obama's second term, or on the occasion of my 85th birthday, whichever comes first.

"Unity really sucks and there is no need for this body to elect a new speaker. This is all I have to say on this matter."

Michael Martin may be a Commoner, but our Nancy Pelosi is even more common--dead common in fact!