So, Who Finally Won That Silly World Cup?

Satire by John W. Lillpop

It was mid-June when I last wasted even a moment of precious time to check on those World Cup doings that have so many foreign bowels in an uproar.

On that particular afternoon, the Ivory Coast and Portugal’s finest had wasted 75 agonizing minutes kicking a ball back and forth, then running after the damn thing for a reason not immediately obvious.

After 75 minutes of this heart-stopping non-action, the score was still 0-0 with neither side coming close to a goal.

Wow, was the operative term if I recall correctly. But only to entertainment –deprived Europeans and equally neurotic “fans” from South America and Mexico.

The most exciting news from the World Cup was the row caused by those vile instruments, known as Vuvuzelas, used by the unwashed to harass soccer players, coaches, and tens of thousands of drunken fans.

At that point, I made an executive decision and decided that soccer, at least the World Cup variety, was just not my cup of tea, and decided instead to seek more stimulating entertainment.

Thus, cam-recording the spectacular growth of my newly-installed Kentucky Blue Grass front lawn replaced World Cup as my way to enjoy a balmy June afternoon.

Nearly a month later, the front lawn is fully grown and healthy.

Yet as I understand it, that silly World Cup is still boring tens of millions to the point of clinical depression.

are still destroying the hearing and sanity of fans not intelligent enough to watch this nonsense on TV with the sound turned off.

In the meanwhile, Argentina Coach Diego Maradona decided to fight the fans when forced to admit that his pathetic Argentine team was a collection of wuss losers when compared to the lads from Germany,

Carlos Dunga, another loosely-wrapped hothead posing as a sport coach, was dismissed by Brazil after his beloved team fell to the Netherlands, by the humiliating score of 1-2.

Humiliating because only three total points were scored in what is billed as a major sports attraction!

So, when does this action less nightmare end?

July 11, according to a soccer-addicted cousin, will be the greatest day of the year when the World Cup final is played, combatants to be determined.

What to do for entertainment between now and July 12?

Well, watching a new lawn in the back yard would be exciting!