Some Ideas for Spreading the OBAMA Wealth

Satire by John W. Lillpop

More than fourteen months following the hostile takeover of America by Barack Obama, an irrefutable truth has emerged:

Despite being inexperienced, naive and unqualified in most areas vital to serving effectively as president, Barack Obama stands heads and shoulders above all others when it comes to “spreading the wealth,” that dreary euphemism used to avoid the non-PC, yet factually correct, term,--involuntary Communism.

Obama is, in fact, America’s cross-eyed Robin Hood, the Spreader-in-Chief, who eschews a bow and arrow, opting instead to use a corrupt Marxist legislature to misuse and abuse the tax code in order to dictate in whom wealth should reside.

According to Robin Hood Hussein Obama, the assets of insurance firms, bankers, Wall Street brokers and other successful purveyors of free enterprise are to be pillaged and plundered in order to enrich labor unions, ambulance-chasing lawyers, abortion doctors, ACORN volunteers, and the unwashed masses at the ding-bat end of the intelligence bell curve.

Obamanomics is based on the idiotic Communist notion that government intervention is necessary in order to level the playing field between those in whom the Creator has endowed superior wit and drive, and those not so blessed.

“Cursed are the successful and prosperous,” would make a perfect campaign slogan for the likes of Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Leader Harry Reid.

However, Robin Hood Hussein Obama’s passion for redistributing wealth applies only to OTHER PEOPLE and their assets, most assuredly not his own.

Indeed, President Obama is an exceedingly wealthy elitist, a real hypocrite’s hypocrite.

When it comes to “spreading the wealth,” Obama needs to think CHANGE in terms of his own personal wealth and advantaged lifestyle.

Some suggestions:

1. Opulence and extravagance are the operative terms when it comes to the Obama mansion in South Chicago. Although the property would be what one would expect from a greedy, white Republican, it is hardly ideal for a man dedicated to “universal poverty at all costs.”

Mr. President, Spread the Wealth, by retiring the mortgage on that mansion and donating said property, free and clear, to a non-profit organization serving the homeless in South Chicago. With any sort of decent planning, that mansion could be converted from a grotesque palace reserved for four elitist snobs into a warm and comfortable habitat for 900- 1,000 homeless people who would otherwise be forced to sleep on the streets of the Windy City.

2. Obama daughters Sasha and Malia attend pricey elitist private schools, upper crust institutions which limit their exposure to the abundance of diversity present in the real world. These pampered young ladies should immediately be removed from their isolated cocoons of wealth and advantage and enrolled in the poorest public schools available in Washington, D.C., preferably schools that would require the girls to be bussed.

Mr. President, Spread the Wealth, by paying for two middle-class Republican children to replace Sasha and Malia in those upper-crust schools.

3. Next to Barack Obama’s empire of stealth czars, Michelle Obama rules over the most wasteful and bloated cadre of inept government leeches in Washington, D.C. Sound fiscal policy demands that Michelle’s tribe of servants, hand maidens, chefs, beauticians, personal secretaries and other hired help be reduced to not more than three individuals. Total.

Mr. President, Spread the Wealth, by continuing to pay the wages of the 40 or so misfits to be expunged from Michelle’s staff, and do so with funds from the Obama family personal savings account. Add icing to the cake by donating said paid labor to the charity of Mrs. Obama’s choosing, subject to approval by the Congressional Budget Office.

4. Despite their alleged concern about energy conservation and global warming, the Obama administration utilizes a fleet of gaudy, environmentally-abusive SUVs and Cadillacs to haul the Marxist president around in.

Mr. President, Spread the Wealth, by making Toyota Prius the official President Obama vehicle of choice, notwithstanding all of those worrisome crash stories.

Mind you, these are just a few impromptu ideas for Obama to use in fulfilling his self-defined mission as the world foremost philanthropist and spreader of wealth.

More will follow in future Words of Wisdom lectures.