President Obama’s Urgent Need for “Reform” School

Satire by John W. Lillpop

With the health care nightmare nearly over, President Obama is moving ahead with his communist agenda for reforming education, immigration, US Senate rules, traditional marriage, financial institutions, US military policy with respect to homosexuals, executive compensation, campaign financing, and last, but hardly least, the system for crowning college football champions.

A terrorist bill of rights is also in the offing, once America has been subdued into remission.

In fact, excepting only the rights and advantages enjoyed by labor unions, left-wing lobbyists, abortionists, ACORN volunteers, the New Black Panther Party, CAIR, La Reza, 40 or so Czars hidden in the bowels of the White House, and his own wretched addiction to smoking, this president plans to reform everything!

If the words change and reform were not available to him, Barack Obama would be mute most of the time.

Given the fact that the president is so smitten with reform, how is it that his education in this area is so woefully inadequate? Having a degree from Yale simply is not good enough for the guerrilla war fare that a true reformer will inevitably face.

Mr. President, its time to go back to school—reform school, that is.

A well rounded curriculum in reform should include the following studies. Approximate times for completion are indicated for your information sir:

Prepared Especially for President Barack Obama

Year One:

Economic Studies and Exploitation Analysis--Basic arithmetic including addition, subtraction, and programmed calculator malfunction.

Essential for developing cogent arguments to convince skeptics that adding 30 million people to the ranks of the insured will actually cut health care costs and that granting amnesty to 20 million illegal aliens will actually enrich American society and culture while curing the depression.

Can also be used to implement systems for fudge-counting new and or saved jobs without fear of being caught.

Includes a special study entitled “Ending Trillion Dollar-Phobia—A Must for Practicing Liberals in the 21st Century”

Required Commitment:

105 hours a week for twelve full months. All courses taught in Mandarin Chinese. No excused absences allowed.

Year Two:

Overcoming Constitutional Barriers to Reform--Study of the basics of constitutional law including strategies and ploys for quickly implementing reforms that are clearly unconstitutional.

Absolutely essential for enacting meaningful reforms like mandating the purchase of health insurance, ignoring borders and immigration laws in order to increase the base of the Democrat Party, and making the president’s appointment of Czars permanently exempt from both Congressional oversight and investigations by the Department of Justice.

Includes a “starter kit” for delaying and ignoring law suits meant to derail needed reforms through the use of mostly non-violent briefs.

Required Commitment:

105 hours a week for twelve full months. All courses taught in private, Cameras and recorders prohibited. No excused absences allowed.

Year Three:

Using the Power of Reform—an intense review of the materials covered in years one and two with a special focus on bringing America back down to earth through forced communism.

Required Commitment:

105 hours a week through the month of October. Depending on the results of the 2012 elections, may include a special course entitled, “Transitioning Back to Local Politics from the Heady White House Days,” with a special guest lecture by another one term Democrat failure, James Earl Carter.

Graduation Protocol:

If the elections of 2012 turn out as they should, Barack Obama will be given four first-class, one-way bus tickets back to Chicago. And what a great day that will be!