Satire by John W. Lillpop
Tiger Woods is taking the extraordinary step of giving up golf in order to get his life’s affairs (pun intentional) in order.
As reported, in part, at wreg.com (1):
“Tiger Woods' decision to take "an indefinite break" to repair his marriage was greeted with surprise, bemusement and even relief Saturday as golfers, fans and commentators contemplated the immediate future of a sport without its biggest draw.
”These are tumultuous times for golf after Friday's announcement by its No. 1 player that he is taking time out following two weeks of allegations of extramarital affairs. Woods and his wife, Elin, have been married five years and have a 2-year-old daughter and a 10-month-old son.”
Giving up a career which has earned Tiger nearly one billion dollars seems a strange thing to do given the fact that his dalliances with as many as many as eleven sirens of the night and untold numbers of prostitutes seem to be the root cause of Tiger’s quagmire.
An analogy: Giving up golf instead of wild women would be like a falling-down drunk and confirmed alcoholic swearing off bar stools and beer nuts in order to sober up.
Or the addicted Cocaine addict who thinks that eschewing hard rock and sex will make him well in time for Christmas.
Time to man up and face your problems, Tiger. You need to have a man-to-man talk with your inner child and explain reality to the brat.
Namely, being married to a drop-dead beautiful blond sex pot is a pretty darn good deal and worth protecting—especially since not doing so could cost you a fortune.
Good grief, Tiger, it’s your off course strokes that may end up costing you $350 million dollars!
1
http://www.wreg.com/sports/sns-ap-glf-woods-reaction,0,254252.story
