Searching for Answers: Why Did W. Invade Iraq Instead of Yemen?

Satire by John W. Lillpop

One of the great unanswered questions surrounding the attempt to blow-up Flight 253 on Christmas Day is this: Just where in Hades was America’s Commander-in-Chief while the fate of western civilization was being decided in the skies over Detroit?

Where was our leader for those three drama-packed days?

Golfing? Swimming? Purchasing a $9 million mansion overlooking the pacific? Fund raising?

It turns out that “none of the above” is the correct answer.

In fact, this reporter has it on very high authority that within minutes of Farouk Abdulmutallab’s underwear malfunction on 253, President Obama had ordered a swat team of his best and brightest security professionals to conduct a comprehensive and objective inquiry into the burning question of the moment.

Namely, how can we blame Abdulmutallab’s vicious attack on W.?

Mind you, the BBAAC (Blame Bush at all Costs) team was also interested in learning how it was that Abdulmutallab managed to fool so many brilliant administration officials like Janet Napolitano.

Information as to exactly how the system had been gamed would, of course, be collected for future reference and inclusion in the Obama Presidential Library slated for construction at Mecca right after the 2012 elections.

Still, the primary focus was to find a credible way to pin yet another Obama failure on the hapless W.

For three long, pressure packed days and nights, Obama and his team searched relentlessly for even a smidgen of evidence that would link W. to the Al-Quaeda mess in Yemen.

Alas, much to Obama’s chagrin, the Blame Bush gambit was quietly quashed when it was confirmed that W. had never heard of the nation of Yemen, could not find Yemen on a map if his life depended on it, and actually thought Yemen was an Internet gambling site for wealthy Jews.

Only then did Obama admit that there had been a “catastrophic breach” within his administration.

Most media types assumed that the president was referring to the security lapse that allowed Abdulmutallab to get on to Flight 253 with explosives stitched into his underwear.

However, informed sources reveal that by “catastrophic breach,”
Obama was talking about the inability of his BBAAC team to nail W. for yet another disaster “inherited” by The One!