Red Alert: Only 7 Shopping Days Left Until Barack’s 51st!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

How time does fly when one is having fun!

Seems like only yesterday Barack Obama was being feted as the answer to ALL problems, large and small, domestic and international.

Now Barack is considered the CAUSE of most of those problems, which have grown considerably worse since his tragic inauguration!

Still, as nauseating as it is to admit, Barack Hussein Obama was and, until January 20, 2013, will be President of the United States.

As such, the gnarly Marxist with the huge ears and even bigger ego deserves the respect and honor due his lofty, albeit undeserved, station in life.

Thus, as a red-alert service to US patriots and Democrats alike, this is issued to remind all that there are only SEVEN (7) shopping days until The One turns 51!

Technically speaking, it is actually just six days and 14 hours using Kenyan time! But why pick nit?

This reminder may send some into a frenzy of shopping, wrapping, mailing, blah, blah, blah, in order to be ready for Barack’s big day.

A word of advice: Relax, and follow these steps.

First, decide what gift would be appropriate for a community organizer who has parlayed a lifetime on the government dole into a King’s Ransom, but whom tries to pretend that he is just an average Joe, a typical everyday American with degrees from Harvard and Columbia.

Personally, I have winnowed my possible Obama birthday gifts down to these precious few:

( )Book, “The Art of Creating and Marketing Birth Certificates for Private and Professional Gain.”

So far I have not found such a book, but if anyone knows of one, or is willing to write one on a quickie schedule, let me know.
( )Calendar where everyday is August 4 and YOU ARE GREAT is the Uplifting Word(s) for the Day,

( )Chicago Chamber of Commerce Booklet entitled, “Renewing Your Love for Chicago: A Guide for Mobsters Moving Back to the Windy City!” and,

( )One-way bus ticket from Washington, D.C. to Chicago for four, 1201 noon, January 20, 2013.

Which gift is the most appropriate (Cheeky!) from a right-wing conservative who, according to DHS Secretary and Mafia Queen Janet Napolitano, is a terrorist threat by virtue of loving America too much?

Finally, to The One, we say: Do not leave embittered and mad: Just leave!

Happy Birthday, in spite of it all!