Seating Ideas for the State of the Union

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Just what exactly is the State of the Union?

A brief summary from the perspective of an informed and objective citizen follows:

America’s federal debt just passed $14 trillion.

Our nation is a war with Islam, which our alleged Commander-in-Chief refuses to acknowledge as an enemy.

The nation is also at war in Afghanistan, a war that President Obama sees as an opportunity to pick up votes in 2012 by surrendering in 2011, rather than as a grave threat to America’s future.

Unstable tyrants running North Korea and Iran have, or are very close to having, nuclear capabilities that could wipe out the human species for several millennium.

Civil unrest is brewing here at home as the liberal lock box for Ponzi schemes runs out of funds for Social Security, Medicare, and the like.

On top of the horrendous shortfall in money needed to feed the entitlements monster created by progressives, a brand new Ponzi—called ObamaCare—is about to go broke before it really takes off.

The border between Mexico and the U.S., the one that failed to keep 12-40 million invading criminals from coming to America, is more porous than the typical colander used to cull water from spaghetti.

DHS boss Janet Napolitano insists that the border has never been more secure, a perspective possible only in a deranged liberal mind that views 12-40 illegal aliens as Newly Arrived Refugees.

President Obama could care less about the dire circumstances that will ensue if the drug cartels of Mexico decide to annex Texas and points further north into their drug kingdoms. In his way of thinking, that could improve his chances of winning in 2012.

On and on it goes. Serious challenges that need immediate action NOW! Or sooner.

So with economic collapse, nuclear Armageddon, civil unrest, and other calamities facing the nation, what are the duly-elected in the U.S. Congress applying their energies and talents to?

Would you believe that the mindless rascals are wasting valuable time trying to work out an accommodation that will allow Democrats and Republicans to sit together, side by side, during the State of the Union speech that Barack Obama will read from a teleprompter on January 25?

Like who gives a tinker’s dam? Folks, you are supposed to embroiled in bitter partisan debate, if not saber rattling.

Forget all the nicey-nicey BS and get a handle on spending. And do whatever it takes to stop another further erosion of America into a Marxist state at the hands of Barack Obama!

To hell with fretting about whether the president or his leftist goons like you or not!

Do what is best for America. PERIOD!

Finally if any sort of seating arrangements should be implemented, the following suggestions are offered, free of charge:

Joe Wilson:

Please seat this South Carolina Republican from South Carolina on the podium right next to the president. Do this to assure that everyone in the building, and in the national TV audience, hears Wilson’s words clearly.

The Supreme Court:

Caution is imperative after President Obama exploded and used the justices as punching bags during the 2009 SOU.

Best advice: Do NOT even invite the Supreme Court to the State of the Union. When the issue comes up after January 25, just say that there were not enough seats, or that the US Postal Service must have lost the dam invites.

Seating by Number of Ear Marks:

Under this scheme, the representatives and senators would be seated in ascending order according to the number and dollar value of ear marks processed by each Congress critter.

Seating by Number of Death Threats Received:

In honor of the victims of the January 8 Tucson horror, lets seat these Congressional bozos by the number of death threats received over the past 12 months. Not to include threats made by spouses, lovers, prostitutes, or serious significant others.

Seating by Number of Death Threats Issued:

As we have learned from exposing the unsteady mind of former Democrat Paul Kanjorski, there may be just as many death threats issued by Congressional members as received by these elitist buzzards.

Lets get a handle on this number and seat the critters accordingly.

In summary, this is but a partial list of endless possibilities, all of which are more creative and productive than seating these fools together!