Brutal Fact Confronts Chris Christie: Fat Floats!

By John W. Lillpop

Fresh off a week of throwing senior aids off the George Washington Bridge to save his own blubbery self, Governor Chris Christie (RINO-NJ) must now face a new challenge, this time from the federal government looking into allegations of impropriety in the use of government funds for recovery from Superstorm Sandy.

As reported:

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie's office said in a statement on Monday that the "Stronger than the Storm" campaign was part of an "action plan" approved by the Obama administration and developed with the goal of showing that the New Jersey shore was open for business during the first summer after Superstorm Sandy.

"Federal agency reviews are routine and standard operating procedure with all federally allocated resources to ensure that funds are distributed fairly. We're confident that any review will show that the ads were a key part in helping New Jersey get back on its feet after being struck by the worst storm in state history," according to the statement issued in response to questions from CNN.

Just days after dismissing two top advisers for their roles in the George Washington Bridge scandal, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is facing questions over the use of Superstorm Sandy relief funds.

CNN has learned that federal officials are investigating whether Christie improperly used those relief funds to produce tourism ads that starred him and his family.”

Any thoughts the Governor might entertain about jumping off the bridge to end it all will face a brutal fact of life: Fat floats!

Which means that even if Christie is able to manage a decent jump, his huge torso would simply float in the water until the Coast Guard comes to his rescue.

Tough break, Governor!

Another word of wisdom for the Guv: Using Barack Obama as a character reference in this mess may not be the worst idea you have ever had….but it’s damn close!