Five Ways to While Away the Hours on a Dreadful Inauguration Day!

By John W. Lillpop

As January 20, 2013 and the despicable doings of that fateful day descend over the heads of dedicated American patriots in mourning, kindred spirits must rally each other beyond despair and gloom and make ready the battle plans for yet another day!

Getting through the second inauguration of Barack Hussein Obama without losing one’s calm, cheerful disposition and without any breach of law more actionable than a profanity-laced tirade that would cause even the most grizzled Navy sailor to blush is a tall order, indeed, for those of us prone to taking our politics a smidgen too seriously.

Remember, patriots, Barack Obama is not smirking at you, personally, as he promises once again to defend and protect the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic; a promise he will deliberately break several times before even completing his God-awful, boring inaugural speech!

Be aware that Obama does not even know that you exist, especially if you are a white male, over 50, and a lifelong Republican who believes in the 2nd Amendment, the Declaration of Independence, traditional American values and who celebrates Independence Day with a world-class toot every July 4th.

Despite the fact that Obama is the least qualified, morally and ideologically, to ever step foot in the White House is irrelevant. He and his Marxist minions are here for at least another four years, so relax and enjoy the laughter—lest you collapse in tears.

Mind you, there are several defenses against the debilitating effects of living through the second Obama inauguration.

Any one of these can make this day survivable, if not bearable:

( ) Join the NRA and sign-up several leftist, anti-gun kooks with your dime. Foot the bill for their membership and you will feel all the better!

( ) Randomly hand out 100 “Happy Gun Appreciation Day” cards to strangers at the local mall.

( ) Take a NRA member to lunch AND dinner.

( ) Listen to Ronald Reagan’s two Inaugural Speeches from the glorious 1980s, and

( ) Thank God Barack has no sons to whom he can hand down his Marxist fascism!

Above all else, remember: Just like a 9.0 earthquake, killer storm, or other natural disaster: This (The Obama plague) TOO will pass!