9.7.11

Thinking Like a Mexican Government Official

Satire by John W. Lillpop


Thinking like an official of the Mexican government when it comes to illegal immigration to the U.S. requires that one abandon common sense and logic in total.

That reduced mental capacity would lead one to endorse the following immigration principles:


( ) There are NO valid borders between Mexico and the United States. In this age of progressive enlightenment, open borders reflects the new age of trust and reciprocity between the nations.

( ) Although there are no borders restricting migration FROM Mexico, prudence demands that the rich cultural heritage of the Mexican people be preserved.

Consequently, borders and border fences in southern Mexico are necessary to maintain our sovereignty and limit the dilution of our unique heritage by foreign interlopers.

( ) Mexico is a free and open society that welcomes diversity: We welcome the use of most dialects of Spanish in government, business, education, and medicine. Because English is the language of white racists, its use in strongly discouraged, especially around young children and the elderly.

( ) Mexican citizens unable to provide the bare necessities of life to their families have a patriotic duty to migrate to the U.S. where free welfare, housing, food, education, health care and other benefits are available.

( ) Legal migration to the United States is far too time-consuming and riddled with bureaucratic red tape for most Mexicans. Much of the paperwork is in English, which unnecessarily complicates legal migration even further.

( ) Given the fact that the U.S. immigration system is hopelessly broken, Mexicans desperately in need of
food, housing, education, and health care are urged (mandated) to sneak across the border and establish residency in one of the many Hispanic-majority cities and Sanctuary Cities that welcome undocumented refugees by the millions.

Government brochures, including detailed maps, names and phone numbers of DNC and ACLU offices, are available for free at any Mexican government office or on-line at mexinvasionofus.gov

( ) Those migrating illegally into America are advised to bring with them at least one late-term pregnant woman currently in, or about to be, in labor.

Upon delivery of a new born on American soil, or reasonably close thereto, the woman should immediately register the child as a U.S. citizen which will indemnify the entire family from deportation, and will open the door for other family members left in Mexico to migrate north.


( ) Mexicans planning to migrate illegally to United States are reminded that the U.S. is a racist, terrorist state that abuses minorities, especially brown people, with reckless abandon. When in danger, always find a local office of the Democrat Party or an ACLU office for help.

Do NOT seek help from the local police, most of whom are red-neck Tea Party bozos who foolishly believe that Arizona, Texas, California, and New Mexico are a part of the U.S. rather than Mexico.

( ) The Mexican government aggressively defends our citizens against abuse at the hands of racist, right-wing extremists. This effort is very expensive; thus, we encourage all patriotic Mexicans to send as much money back home as possible. Because most undocumented Mexicans will pay no taxes on their income, those savings should be the minimal amount sent home.

And there you have it: The Felipe Calderon welcome wagon kit for illegals headed north!