28.7.11

Is Nancy Pelosi’s “Life As We Know It” Worth Saving?

Satire By John W. Lillpop


Once again, Comrade Nancy Pelosi of San Francisco has made headlines, this time with an out-of-this-world remark about the ongoing debt-ceiling war.

The former Shrieker of the House entertained the world with this pearl of wisdom:

“What we’re trying to do is save the world from the Republican budget,” she said. “We’re trying to save life on this planet as we know it today.”


So, just what is “Life as we know it” according to this bug-eyed grandma and is it worth saving?

Consider the fact that Comrade Nancy does hail from San Francisco—the only American city that tried to join the former USSR, but was rejected because Moscow found folks here too far to the left.

In San Francisco, “Life as we know it” includes the following untoward circumstances, because in San Francisco it is:

*A felony to vote Republican;

*Against the law to fly Old Glory without a special permit on Cinco de Mayo day when the Mexican flag is preeminent, and must not be mocked with vulgar displays of excessive Americanism;

* A hate crime to speak English at fast-food restaurants, car washes, emergency rooms, and whenever speaking to Hispanics obviously here illegally;

* A violation to wear the uniform of the Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marines, especially when one does so with an arrogant, “America First,” belligerence.

* True that attending a Christian church will automatically cause one's property taxes to double. However, there is an appeals process.

* Required that job applicants prove that they are transvestite, gay, handicapped, or a racial minority to qualify;

* A major crime to work at Wal-Mart;

*Possible to get an abortion on one of those fabulous cable cars, at most self-serve gas stations, at progressive piano bars, and at Alcatraz Island after 6pm, except on Mother's Day;

* Not enough to be a young Middle Eastern male who speaks Arabic in order to be considered a protected minority. In order to be so classified, one must have been arrested and charged with a terrorist act--- like attempting to move the Golden Gate Bridge to Oregon with an IED;

* Required that straight, white, employed Christian males notify the police 60 days before moving into a new neighborhood;

* Necessary to enroll as a dues-paying member of ACLU in order to secure a driver’s license;

*True that convicted sex offenders moving into San Francisco are automatically registered to vote as Democrats.


Therefore, the question as to whether liberalism spawns a life worth living is very much a matter of judgment and morality—both of which are in very short supply in the mind of Nancy Pelosi and other moon bats in ‘Frisco!