Satire By John W. Lillpop
Of all the bloody cheek!
No longer content with just ramming airplanes into skyscrapers, devotees of the "Religion of Peace" have raised the terror bar another couple of notches.
Now these neurotic stowaways from the 7th century have flexed their financial muscle by threatening to boycott Northwest Airlines. It seems as though agents at Northwest had the audacity to demand that Muslim travelers follow international and airline rules by checking in least one hour before scheduled departure time.
It had something to do with security, 9/11, terrorism threats, etc. Nothing that would concern any card-holding Jihadist, right?
In any event, travelers returning from a pilgrimage to Mecca, Saudi Arabia, allegedly arrived just twenty minutes before departure, rather the required hour.
That is when Northwest Airlines personnel acted responsibly and refused to allow 40 of Allah's best and brightest to board the plane.
Of course, lawyers from CAIR subsequently gathered to address the issue in the spirit of fairness, reasoned logic, and common sense.
When all of those approaches failed, CAIR resorted to their standard policy book and screamed Racism! blah, blah, blah. And they then threatened to boycott the company, meaning that Muslims would get even by not flying Northwest Airlines.
Excuse me, did I read that correctly? The Muslims threatened to stay away from Northwest Airlines?
Good grief, how lucky can any airline get?
Immediately after confirming this report, I checked the itinerary for my Hawaii vacation in May and dispatched the following letter to the Northern California branch of CAIR:
Dear CAIR:
Knowing how racist and belligerent some airlines can be, I thought it my civic duty to inform you of a situation that is untenable for any devoted Jihadist.
I refer to XXX Airlines, Flight XX, on June 15,2008. This flight is non-stop from Morgan Hill International Airport in California to Hana, Maui, and leaves at 730 am, PDT. Gate 2a, Terminal 3.
In addition, please make note of the return flight from Hana to Morgan Hill on June 30, 2008.
Both of these flights are to be avoided by Muslims at all costs. The pilots, stewardesses, security personal, bartenders, and Red Caps at these airports are all bigoted, anti-Islam racists. Some may even be Jews.
Please confirm receipt of this advisory and CAIR's firm commitment to boycott the identified flights.
Praise be to Allah.
Mahalo and aloha, dudes!
JWL
Infidel, Second Class
June 2008
