Divorce, In Keeping with Sharia Law

Satire by John W. Lillpop

From the Nostalgia (Old News) File

Snobbish American men who regard Sharia Law as an inferior abomination may wish to reconsider that judgment, at least when it comes to divorce settlements.

Unlike American divorce laws, which assume that every husband is a wife beater, adulterer, and corrupting influence on the children, Sharia law is infinitely more balanced and fair.

In a court operating in accordance with Sharia law the following principle applies: She gets the home, all of the couple's assets, and his social security.

He gets her head and bloody remains!

There are no alimony or child support payments to argue over, no divisive restraining orders, no messy visitation rights, blah,blah,blah.

Under Sharia law, the man does not need to waste tens of thousands of dollars to hire a shyster lawyer.

A sharp ax will suffice.

Praise be to Allah!

The latest enlightenment concerning the Religion of Peace was delivered by Muzzammil Hassan, a Muslim TV mogul from New York who hacked off his wife's head.

Her offense? Aasiya Hassan, Muzzammil's wife, had the temerity and the audacity to file for divorce!

As the ax-wielding hubby argued so eloquently, the wayward woman was not authorized to file for divorce; thus, the only option left for the abused Muzzammil was to send the renegade female to Allah, special delivery.

Another advantage to the way that Muzzammil settled his domestic dispute: The divorce was final, effective immediately. There will be no appeal!