25.11.10

Opting Out of the Great Opt-Out!












By John W. Lillpop

So, how was YOUR holiday travel experience this Thanksgiving?

Were you forced to wait for hours in desperately long lines just to be sexually assaulted by some retarded TSA agent who celebrated Thanksgiving by fondling and groping your private parts?

Or was was it the magic of that high-technology body scanner that exposed and preserved for posterity images of your beautiful body, images that, with your luck, may go viral on the Internet at any time?

Was it the image of your endowments that drove that TSA weasel to masturbation in order to relieve the tension brought on by the magnificence of your sexual plumbing?

Actually, despite the end-of-life-as-we-know-it warnings about the Great Airport Armageddon of 2010, the busiest travel day of the year came and went with very little, or none, of the problems that had been planned or forecast.

Which makes one wonder: Whatever happened to the great Opt-Out that was supposed to ruin Thanksgiving for millions of people foolish enough to leave their fates in the hands—quite literally—of molesters working for Janet Napolitano?

Did the great Opt-Out flop so dramatically because airports were clogged with travelers like ding-bat attorney Gloria Allred who claimed that she enjoyed pat-downs because it had been such a long time since her “private parts” had been touched?

Which brings forth another burning question: Does Obama need a “Groping and Fondling Czar” to handle the Gloria Allreds of the world?

In the final analysis, did the traveling public simply Opt-out of the Opt Out in order to get the hell to grandma’s place on time for that great Turkey feast?