Satire by John W. Lillpop
As odd as it may sound, DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano seems to have concocted an offense against humanity which is even more despicable and humiliating than the evil practice of water boarding, a favorite of W. and Dick Cheney back in the days when the government was actually more concerned with preventing another 9/11 than coddling Islamofascist freaks with Amanda rights, civilian trials, and other Obama idiocy.
Indeed, what with genital groping, fondling, naked body scans, and intrusion of TSA hands into heretofore forbidden places, Napolitano has managed to make water boarding a relatively respectable procedure for defending the homeland.
In a recent poll (still to be published), 8 out of 10 Americans stated that they would be prefer to be water boarded rather than tortured by TSA perverts who not only look down one’s pants, but whom are now authorized to conduct a “quick feel” as one of one of the great employment perks that Napolitano offers otherwise lowly screening agents.
Ever the most clever deficit-finding cabinet member of the Obama administration, Nappy has even found a way to pay for all of those expense, high-technology body scanners. She saves the more exciting crotch x-rays and peddles same to a sex-starved public with an insatiable appetite for airport porn!
And who said Janet Napolitano is not creative?
