Paying State Payroll Taxes With IOUs

Satire by John W. Lillpop

By now, the entire world has heard that California can no longer pay its bills. The amount of money going out exceeds the amount coming in. Real simple arithmetic is in play here when you think about it.

Except, this is California, you see. Not only do the basic laws of nature not apply here, but the fundamentals of finance and common sense have gone missing as well.

To the outsider, California's dilemma is paradoxical.

After all, this is home to Silicon Valley and high technology. Geniuses are everywhere, and the state is renowned for being on the cutting edge on all issues from sex to science.

Brilliance abounds, EXCEPT in state government because California is cursed with a gaggle of extreme tax and spend liberals in the State Assembly.

An example of outrageous liberal recklessness is described by writer Jon Coupal, president of the Howard Jarvis Taxpayers Association and a tireless leader in the never-ending battle to contain liberal spending.

Coupal writes, in part, at Californiarepublic.com:


"Sacramento is now filled with a new crop of cash-eating locusts and they are no better than their predecessors. They show no remorse or regret for their failure to rein in spending and no sympathy for the taxpayer ants who themselves are struggling to get by and are wondering if they will make it through the winter of our declining economy.

"To add insult to injury, the grasshopper chorus now sings a new song, led by Assemblywoman Noreen Evans. She revealed the lyrics a few days ago before a conference committee on the budget. “This mantra out there ‘live within our means,’ while it sounds really nice, while it sounds really simple and it sounds really responsible, it’s meaningless,” she intoned.

"Evans’ statement is breathtaking for its arrogance. For California families and businesses, the idea that one has to “live within their means” is a common sense notion and those who do not follow it find themselves in bankruptcy. Evans admission demonstrates yet again how disconnected our liberal political leadership is from ordinary citizens. Taxpayers can’t help but wonder, if this is how Evans views our state fiscal crisis, will her next chart-topper be, “Let Them Eat Cake?”

"The logically challenged Evans justifies calls for new revenue by saying that it is for the “needy.” However, if the Santa Rosa Democrat is so concerned about the least amongst us, why did she and most of her colleagues approve the February tax package that includes new sales taxes, higher car taxes and a $200 cut in the tax deduction for dependent children? These taxes fall disproportionately hard on low and middle income Californians. And why did these same tax-and-spend lawmakers, who use children and the poor as human shields to defend raising taxes, approve Proposition 1A for the May Special Election ballot that would have perpetuated these highly regressive taxes for an additional two years?"

So again, just why is California bankrupt? Because of dim wit Democrats like Assemblywoman Noreen Evans.

If your teenager continued to overdraw her checking account, funded solely by you, how would you handle the matter?

A. Close the account and burn the unused checks and ATM cards, or

B. Continue to increase the young woman's allowance and cover all those inevitable "insufficient funds" fees.

Which would it be?

Democrats in Sacramento are solidly behind Option B, with Noreen Evans the best example of fuzzy headed thinking.

Small business owners hit hard by the recession need to form an alliance and take action to end this stupidity.

My suggestion: When the time comes to pay your payroll taxes, send the weasels in Sacramento an IOU with an appropriate cover letter such as this:

Dear Governor and State Assembly Members:

Enclosed herewith please find a remittance in the amount of $67,890.12 which is the amount of payroll taxes owed by Lillpop Business Schemes, Inc., for the period ended June 30, 2009.

Because of tough economic times here in California, I have adopted the state's approach to balancing my budget: Simply do not bother!

After all, living within my means is meaningless these days. I know that you understand

As a result, my remittance is in the form of a certified IOU payable to the State of California on June 30, 2010.

Please expect all further payroll tax remittances to be IOUs as well.

By the way, please extend my warm regards to Assemblywoman Noreen Evans for her brilliant concept concerning the meaningless of living within one's means.

Issuing IOUs is much quicker and far less painful to small business owners like myself.


John W. Lillpop
Proprietor, Lillpop Business Schemes Inc."

Several hundred thousand remittances in the form of IOUs might help enlighten liberals like Assemblywoman Noreen Evans.

And that would be a good thing!