Can Obama's "Suds Diplomacy" Heal the Gates-Crowley Divide?

By John W. Lillpop

In handling the Professor Gates arrest crisis, President Barack Obama is showing that he is indeed the master of CHANGE, although not always for the good.

After shooting himself in the feet by labeling the Cambridge Police as "stupid" for actually enforcing the law, the president decided to extinguish the national firestorm that he ignited by applying a shot or so of his fabled diplomacy to the situation.

As reported, in part, at the Huffingtonpost, Obama has invited Professor Henry Gates and police sergeant James Crowley to meet at the White House for round one of "suds diplomacy," which may be the most potent tool in the president's racial healing bag:

"There are several reports that the beer diplomacy between President Obama, Cambridge police sergeant James Crowley and Henry Louis Gates Jr. will take place on Thursday.

"The Boston Globe reports: Charles Ogletree, one of Gates's lawyers, tells the Globe that the meeting will be on Thursday and that both Crowley and Gates can bring family members. The White House would not immediately confirm those details."

"When President Obama said last week that the whole incident involving Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Sgt. James Crowley of the Cambridge police department could be worked out over a beer at the White House, he wasn't speaking figuratively. CNN is reporting today that the White House has confirmed that the president is to meet with the two men this week to do just that.

"As Press Secretary Robert Gibbs explained on "Fox News Sunday," "the president believes this can be a teachable moment." And what better way to begin putting things in perspective in the dog days of summer than to serve a cold beer.

"As for drink orders, CNN says Obama will be having a Bud and Crowley a Blue Moon. No word yet on Gates' beverage of choice."

BREAKING NEWS: This reporter has learned that Professor Gates will order "sour grapes" as his drink of choice, a most appropriate selection given the professor's radical views.

Meanwhile, the White House has announced that President Obama has started work on a new book titled, "The Audacity of Booze: Inspired Teaching Methods for Post-Racial America," with release scheduled for November.

A steal at $75 a copy for registered Democrats, $3,240 for Republicans.

Sgt. Crowley is not being left out in the cold, either.

The arresting office is reportedly considering a multiple million-dollar offer to be the "tell all" writer of a scathing documentary, titled "How an Innocent Irish Cop Was Driven to Alcoholism by the US President," a 90-minute special scheduled for release as soon as an innocent Irish cop can be located for the lead!

Now, just who was it that said that Barack Obama is a naive, inexperienced community organizer?