Fair and Balanced—and Completely Wrong!

By John W. Lillpop

What the hell is going on with the “news” these days? Have all of the talking heads gone mad at the same time?

It started before noon on Wednesday when “journalists” from LA to New York reported that a ‘suspect’ had been identified in the Boston Marathon bombing nightmare.

Soon, that escalated into a “Breaking News Alert” which informed we the naïve that the suspect would soon be arrested and taken to a federal courthouse in Boston.

Like the mindless sheep that they truly are, the professionals at CNN, MSNC, and yes, Fox, all descended on a court house in Boston waiting for the bomber dude (its ALWAYS a HE!) to be dragged to the halls of justice to atone for ruining an otherwise perfect Patriots’ day on Monday.

With bated breath, we waited for a dark-skinned, young, bearded  male with a middle-eastern accent to emerge,  handcuffed, from an air-conditioned police car in front of that courthouse to begin what would surely be the 20-to-30 year process needed to deliver justice in America.

Which is not all that unreasonable considering the time that it takes Obama to force the word “Terrorism” through of his Marxist, Jihadist throat!

Meanwhile our erstwhile “hosts” and unemployed experts entertained us with stupid speculation about whether this Muslim mad man had been advised of his Miranda rights?

Was he an American citizen or just another undocumented Democrat in deep dodo? Were his rights being protected in accordance with the Constitution and Bill of Rights? Was there obvious police brutality involved?

Would he be shipped to GITMO or forced to starve in Boston?

On and on this mayhem went, interrupted only for the mandatory three minute commercial break, delivered after just a few seconds or so of expert analysis and commentary.

Finally the dummies reached a consensus: BREAKING NEWS: There has been no arrest and we have no idea what the hell is happening!

First honest reporting of the day!

With all due respect to the unemployable air heads at CNN, MSNBC, and all the rest, the old slogan, “No News Is Good News!” seems to be especially true in this the age of Misinformation.

Tip: When in doubt, go with “Leave It to Beaver” reruns—or just give us a blank screen!