8 Fundamental Changes To Christmas, Courtesy of Barack Obama!
By John W. Lillpop
While campaigning for the presidency in 2008, Barack Obama promised to fundamentally transform America, a promise which, thankfully, he has been unable to keep.
Obama has, however, left his mark on Christmas, including the following eight changes traceable to The One and his Marxist allies:
1. The right to a Christ-free Christmas is now inalienable, second in propriety only to the Constitutional right to slaughter unborn fetuses at will.
2. Truth be told, Jesus was probably female; if not, he was surely gay and or transgender.
3. Proof that under-regulation invites corporate greed and abuse: The leased donkey which Mary rode into Bethlehem was the same animal forced to carry Jesus into Jerusalem some 32 years later!
4. Mary’s virginity proves that the argument which holds that marriage exists primarily to facilitate procreation is specious at best, homophobic at worse.
5. There were no Muslims or people of color present in the stable where Jesus was born. This lack of diversity renders the entire Christmas story a racist fantasy, unworthy of repeating.
6. Among Jewish retailers, the number 1 favorite song at Christmas is, What a Friend We Have in Jesus!
7. In addition to saving the environment, bankrupting the coal industry would reduce the number of “lumps” available to Santa Claus for making mischief against innocent young boys and girls.
8. Bing Crosby’s classic, “White Christmas” is a most unfortunate remnant from an era which existed throughout America prior to the start of the Obama “post-racism” era, which began on January 20, 2009 and ended in July, 2009 when Obama accused a white police officer of “acting stupidly” for arresting a black professor from Harvard University.
Kudos to Barack Obama for transforming the way Americans see and celebrate Christmas!