Satire by John W. Lillpop
Tiger Woods is inarguably the best and most famous athlete in the word. He is also a gentleman and a terrific role model for American youth irrespective of race or ethnicity.
However, it turns out that Woods is a mere mortal, unlike that other prominent African-American in Washington D.C., who lays claim to deity and messianic privilege.
As presented in his own words at http://web.tigerwoods.com, Tiger made the following statement concerning that crash in Florida at 225 AM the other day:
"As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I'm pretty sore.
“This situation is my fault, and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again.
“This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.
“The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.
“This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.”
Hmmmm.
If Tiger’s account is gospel truth, one wonders why he has allegedly refused (on three occasions) to consent to an interview with law authorities?
As to his assertion that the mess is a “private matter,” most extra-marital affairs are, although ramming one’s Cadillac into a tree at 2:25 AM is quite extraordinary. Perhaps anger management would help, Tiger?
News from Florida: A Tale by the Tiger?
