29.11.09
Hate Christmas and Fireplaces? Welcome to San Francisco!
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Satire By John W. Lillpop
Just how kooky is San Francisco?
The short answer: Think Nancy Pelosi.
In most civilized communities, Nancy Pelosi would be strapped to a padded cell and given insulin treatment every hour, shock therapy every two hours. For security purposes, she would be banned from stepping foot in any local, state or federal government building for any purpose whatsoever, except to execute documents needed to effect her permanent and irrevocable deportation to India or Pakistan.
But this is San Francisco, nut ball capitol of the civilized world. A place so bizarre that Nancy Pelosi is regarded as a hero, and is reelected time and time again.
Remember that voters in San Francisco made it possible for Pelosi to be within an irregular heartbeat and justifiable impeachment of moving into the Oval Office.
Try saying President Nancy Pelosi twice without a barf bag at the ready!
Still, Nancy Pelosi is not alone in her goofy politics and liberalism bordering on outright insanity. San Francisco's Mayor Gavin Newsom, in conspiracy with the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, have also made history by using Sesame Street as their model in shaping the City Charter.
Among the more egregious decisions by San Francisco elected officials are the following dillies:
* Sanctioned same sex marriages despite state law and a voter mandate.
* Refused to allow the USS Iowa to dock in San Francisco waters.
* Attempted to prevent the world famous Blue Angels from performing.
* Censored conservative radio talk show Michael Savage.
* Tried to convert dog poop into electrical power.
* Approved ID cards for illegal aliens.
And just in time for Christmas, the Lords of Folly have initiated a ban on fireplaces. You see, fireplaces are considered a global warming threat here, even though most family hearths are rarely fired up more than three or four times a year, and then normally only for family photos and videos.
Still, making headlines in the war on global warming is more important than fact, science, or other bothersome details to politicians who share Nancy Pelosi's outrageous political perspective and bias.
As they say, "Only In San Francisco."
To which one can gratefully add, "Thank God!"