Satire by John W. Lillpop
As an English-speaking Caucasian, I have learned to accept the
fact that America is in transition, and is likely to become less and less Anglo.
The only remaining issue seems to be the competition between Islamofascists and Mexican illegal aliens. Which group will take over America and really ruin things?
Or will illegal aliens and Jihadists form a coalition and convert the United States into a Muslim version of Mexico--an Islamic-Latino third-world terrorist state?
Before those hot-blooded Latinos and short-fused Islamic extremists merge into one big dysfunctional family, several pressing issues will need to be resolved. Those issues include:
* What will the national language be--Arabic or Mexican? Or will they create a hybrid called Arabmex?
* Will the official national headdress be the sombrero or the exploding turban?
* Will women be required to wear mantillas or burkas?
* Will Mexican parents be required to raise their children to be suicide bombers?
* Will Mexican teens be shipped to Israeli pizza parlors on missions to blow themselves up for Allah?
* Will Muslim teens join street gangs, wear their baseball caps backward and jeans ten inches too low, and drive 1955 "Schevies" with boom boxes loud enough to register on the Richter?
* Will Muslim men be required to eat greasy tacos and get drunk every weekend?
* Will the official weapon of choice for domestic violence be switchblade knifes or mosque-certified axes?
* Will Mexicans have to buy prayer rugs, face Mecca, and pray to Allah five times a day? In Arabic?
* Will Muslims set up employment vigils outside Home Depot stores?
* Will adulterous Mexican women be stoned to death?
* Will adulterous Muslim women be able to achieve redemption through confession to a priest, rather than through public stoning?
* Will Muslims celebrate with piñatas and do the “Mexican Hat Dance?” at Christmas? Will the pinatas explode on contact?
* Will the faithful travel to mosques on camels or donkeys?
* Will Mexican martyrs be rewarded with 72 virgins upon reaching heaven? Where will God and or Allah find 72 Mexican virgins?
All of this pessimism can be summarized in one simple question:
How do you say Reconquesta in Arabic?
