Satire by John W. Lillpop
In the event that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is convicted of masterminding the 9/11 attacks, he should NOT be put to death.
I repeat, do not kill Khalid Sheikh Mohammed!
Why?
Because Islamofascists like Sheikh Mohammed do not fear death.
In fact, they welcome death as an urgent calling from Allah, not to mention the possibility of spending eternity in orgiastic rapture whilst engaged with 72 virgins, should one be fortunate enough to be designated as a Martyr.
By the way, since the term virgin can be correctly applied only until the young woman has been defrocked, can one assume that Allah provides a fresh supply of sweet young thangs every one and again, based on the Martyr’s libido and staying power?
Which prompts an indelicate, but relevant, question: Do they have Viagra in Muslim heaven?
Whatever, the point is that killing this hairy ball of fat would do nothing but send this fool to Paradise, when, in fact, ‘cruel and unusual punishment’ is clearly called for.
To affect an appropriate measure of justice, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed should tattooed with “Jesus Is My Kind of Jew!” on his forehead and arms, and he should be forced to watch Pat Robertson’s “700 Club” reruns 15 hours a day.
A daily baptizing, suspiciously similar to water boarding, should also be administered until the Sheikh accepts Jesus as his personal savior and Lord, at which point his water boarding should be limited to every other day.
Pray for the Sheikh: There is simply nothing equivalent to 72 virgins in Christianity!
