Obama Uses Ukraine Crisis to “Do the Right Thing” on Illegal Aliens!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

On this raw Monday morning in California, it is most disconcerting to learn that the Russian Bear, presumed dead or domesticated into docile tranquility since 1989, has been resuscitated, albeit with unsolicited assistance from Barack Obama.

Apparently, Bears do not fear retreating wimps; so what did ya’ expect?

As reported in the media:

Ukraine has mobilized for war amid warnings from NATO that Russia's annexation of Crimea "threatens peace and security in Europe".

With tension nearing boiling point, Anders Fogh Rasmussen, the NATO Secretary General, vowed the organization would stand by Ukraine, a nation of 46 million which occupies a vital strategic position between Europe and Russia.

Speaking before he chaired an emergency meeting of ambassadors from the 28 NATO member states, he said: "Russia must stop its military activities and its threats."
The United States dramatically intensified pressure on Moscow, threatening to remove Russia from the G8 club of developed economies.

John Kerry, the US Secretary of State, condemned Russia for what he called an "incredible act of aggression" and threatened "very serious repercussions", including Russia's possible expulsion from the G8.

Meanwhile, US President Barack Obama is pre-occupied with pen and phone in the Oval Office as he sets about the difficult task of drafting an Emergency Executive Order to deal with the invasion---- of America, by Mexico, and other nations south of the US Border.

According to anonymous sources, Obama will use an Executive Order to bypass Republican racists in Congress.

The order will grant an unconditional pardon to all aliens who entered America since November, 1986, thereby, effectively ending the illegal alien crisis and putting Mexico on notice that “this is the last 40 million” invaders that will be given amnesty and US voting rights!

A special order has also been executed ordering all branches of the Executive Branch to take all necessary steps needed to make each and every illegal alien fully eligible to vote in the November, 2014 election.

What about background investigations and concerns about terrorism, patriots ask?

We will not be bullied about by terrorists, when there is an important election to be won,” stated a high-level source who confirmed that illegal aliens will be automatically made US citizens as part of the blanket pardon.

The same source proudly pointed out the strategic brilliance employed by the president when the source said, “Illegal aliens converted into citizens via Executive Order will also be subject to immediate conscription in the US military, and placed on the borders of vulnerable Blue states to protect against Russian aggression in the homeland!”

“It’s a win-win for the White House.  The Democrat Party is made 40 million or so stronger and Vladimir Putin is blocked from invading designated blue states!”

What about Red States?

"As far as Barack is concerned, Vlady can have them!"