A Humanitarian Request for Jihad John

Satire by John W. Lillpop


Jihad John is giving the evil Islam practice of beheading a very bad name: By recently loping off the heads of three westerners, all white males, JJ is fostering the image of ISIS as racist, sexist cult; one desperately in need of diversity training.

This bigotry is not likely to be addressed by throat-cutting Muslims in the JJ circle of friends and sphere of influence.

After all, bigotry is just the way ISIS is!

Still, as one who holds on to the fragile hope that JJ can be redeemed, this Infidel has a proposal which could give  ISIS a brand new public image while opening great new frontiers for decapitations.

Specifically, why not expand your murderous ways to include female dim wits, JJ?

I have in mind the personage of Nancy Pelosi, who shares your passion for killing humans. One major difference, though, is that Pelosi’s, subjects are unborn, innocent babies and her procedure—known as Pro-choice abortion---is done in private, while the babes are still in the would-be mother’s body.

All of which makes the Pelosi murders less messy in terms of bloody scenes, but which also makes video production problematic, if not impossible.

Making Nancy Pelosi your next project, JJ, would gain you world attention and fame, even praise throughout the Infidel nations. It might even earn you consideration for a Nobel Peace Prize--similar to the phony award made to Barack Obama in 2009.

Furthermore, the task would be relatively easy, given the fact that the Pelosi cranium is completely empty.

Take this advise, JJ: Get Pelosi and show the world that ISIS is an equal opportunity killer and inclusive as can be!