Satire by John W. Lillpop
Wow!
What a wonderful finish to that awful mine crisis in Chile. Thank God all 33 of the miners are safe and sound after 69 harrowing days.
How refreshing to have a “feel good” news story in the headlines for a change, especially here in America where the Obama administration, in concert with Marxists in Congress, manages to generate a daily dose of simply awful news on the economy, unemployment, free speech, the war in Afghanistan and foreign policy in general.
Given this president’s uncanny propensity for doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, one wonders what might have happened if the Chilean mine disaster had occurred in, say, West Virginia, rather than Chile?
A list of probable events follows:
( ) On August 5, Obama claims that the mine disaster was “inherited” from the Bush administration, which blocked urgently needed regulatory reform in order to pacify Wall Street investors.
Obama promises “immediate action” to reform mine safety with a host of new regulations that could ultimately bankrupt the coal industry, thereby ending coal mine disasters forever.
( )Before a rescue mission can be sent into the mines, Obama decrees that a formal Environmental Impact Statement must be prepared and reviewed to assure that a rare species of red-neck mosquitoes living in and around the mine are not endangered.
The required EPA study will take about three years to complete, a fact that Obama blames on the reckless policies of the Bush administration. Another “inherited” crisis, as it turns out.
( )On August 6, the President heads to Waikiki Beach for a “well-deserved” 10- day vacation and non-stop golf, swimming, and telemarketing for campaign donations.
Spokesman Robert Gibbs defends the president’s timing by reminding the media that it has been nearly two months since the First Family vacationed anywhere--much less Hawaii.
( ) On September 5, Obama reminds the media that it has been 30 days since the mine tragedy. He proudly notes that there have been no repeat mine disasters, a fact he attributes to Janet Napolitano’s exceptional leadership and focus on mine safety issues, rather than wasting time worrying about border security, illegal aliens, and terrorism.
( ) On September 11, Obama commemorates the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks and reminds the American people of his administration’s unblemished record on mine safety since August 5.
( )On September 12, Michelle and her oldest daughter head to Europe where the first lady and her entourage will spend two weeks, using unspent stimulus money, to enjoy lavish food, entertainment, housing and clothes.
Obama talking head Robert Gibbs defends the multi-million price tag by reminding the media that Michelle is a direct descendant of slaves who picked cotton for white plantation owners for $.20 a month.
( )On September 20, Barack Obama heads to an undisclosed location for a “well-deserved” three week vacation from the Fish Bowl that is the Oval Office.
Robert Gibbs reminds the media that the president is America’s first African-American president and, as such, deserves extra perks for performing so well.
( ) On October 14, the 33 West Virginia miners are rescued. Obama calls an immediate press conference to highlight the fact that his administration is claiming credit for saving another 33 jobs, further proof, the president claims, that his trillion-dollar stimulus worked as planned!
There you go: The workings of the mind of an elitist Marxist too out of touch to recognize his own insanity!
