Slick Willie to BHO: More Bull, Less Bear!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

As one born and raised in Hope (Arkansas), Former President Bill Clinton is at a loss to understand why Barack Obama is not more cheery and uplifting when speaking to the American people about the economy.

As reported by ABC news, in part, Slick Willie "tells ABC News that Obama needs to put on a more positive face when speaking to the American people about the economy."

In Wall Street parlance, Slick would have Obama focus on More Bull, Less Bear!

Slick conveniently overlooks the fact that Obama has just committed American taxpayers to a trillion dollar package of pork spending that may or may not stimulate the economy; has ordered even more raids on the treasury by announcing a $75 billion program to bail out irresponsible homeowners to whom the American Dream has become a bitter nightmare, and has the CEOs of GM and Chrysler camped out like vagabond gypsies on the White House lawn in search for another $50 billion or so in hand outs.

There is also the matter of disbursing the second half of that $825 billion authorized by Congress for bailing out Wall Street, a task made all the more difficult since no one seems to know what in the hell happened to the $350 billion sent out when W. was still running the Ponzi scheme.

Moreover, President Obama is confronted by a growing mountain of bad news: Since the Inauguration, Wall Street stocks have nose-dived to their lowest level in six years; unemployment is soaring, and states like California and Kansas are rapidly becoming third world disasters.

On top of all of that, many learned economists are warning that the worst is yet to come.

Yet Slick Willie expects feigned Hope from an inexperienced community organizer who is splendid at delivering rousing speeches peppered with meaningless slogans and promises, but whom does not know what the hell he is doing when it comes to managing the issues of the day?

How in the world can a president who lacks the ability to recruit a small group of honest, law-abiding professionals to serve in his cabinet be expected to manage the overall affairs of the greatest nation in human history?

Still, Slick Willie deserves some slack because he occupied the Oval Office before the full and awesome power of the Internet emerged. During most of the Clinton debacle, accountability could be avoided by applying a strategy of DENY AND DELAY to all circumstances.

Until, that is, Matt Drudge used the Internet to turn a white spot of DNA on a blue dress into the "shot heard around the world," a scoop that damn near sent Slick Willie and the Hildabeast back to Hope, sans any glimmer of hope.

Face the truth, Slick, your brand of optimism and "spin" would instantly be recognized as false and forced in the modern world of political communications.