Hank Paulson: The Case FOR Cruel and Unusual Punishment

How should America deal with this vermin? Water boarding? Hang him? Stone him to death?

By John W. Lillpop

How shall American jurisprudence deal with Henry Paulson, the hairless kleptomaniac also known as Secretary of the Treasury?

Just a few weeks ago, Paulson scared the wits out of most Americans, including our befuddled president and corrupt Congress, by crying "Fire!" at the top of his lungs just to force attention on Wall Street and it's cash flow problems.

With the nation pre-occupied by the most important election in a generation, this arrogant SOB warned that the only hope for saving America from impending financial ruin was to cough up $700 billion dollars and grant him unilateral, unchecked authority to dispense said taxpayer funds to his buddies on Wall Street.


Paulson insisted that the need was so overwhelmingly urgent that there was no time for learned men and women to consider the facts, discuss possible alternatives, engage in rational debate, and act responsibly.

Like an armed robber confronting an unarmed bank teller, Paulson gave President Bush and Congress a frightening ultimatum: Give me $700 billion NOW or else!

According to Paulson, the money was needed to purchase "toxic assets" from Wall Street firms left holding sub-prime loans gone sour.

Of course, President Bush and Congress acceded to Paulson's daylight robbery demand and, just to make sure that taxpayers were completely ripped off, Congress added $150 billion to the bailout request.

Now Paulson has the audacity to announce that the Treasury is not going to purchase "toxic assets" after all.

All of that hoopla and "the sky is falling" fright talk notwithstanding, Henry has decided against using that $850 billion for the purposes for which is allocated.

Again, the big question: How shall the law deal with Henry Paulson?

The answer: To hell with the 8th Amendment!

In Paulson's case, cruel and unusual punishment is the ONLY thing that makes a lick of sense.